Because I am American...

This is a list comprised of a bunch of observations that I made in Haiti. I must warn you that this entry if filled with my American naivety, ignorance and spoiled mentalities.

Let us commence.
Because I am American...
-I can't drink the water
-My mom tells me to wash my fruits with hand sanitizer
-My airports don't have posters about what to do "if you get diarrhea," I should've read them
-My mood unconsciously changes when I enter a building with out AC
-I think only African women carry groceries on their heads
-It didn't occur to me that everything is under construction because 2 and a half years ago everything was destroyed
-I've never seen ocean water bluer than the sky
-I've never heard a children's/youth choir sing an original song a capella in 3-part harmony
-I had to leave my vanity in Port-au-Prince
-Seeing the sun rise over the side of a mountain blew my mind
-I charge my cell phone whenever I want, wherever I want, even in my car
I don't go to church at night just to charge my phone and I don't pay the corner store $20 to do it because they have electricity and I don't
-Sleeping on concrete makes my bones feel like they need some WD40 in the AM (This might be everybody...)
-I've never peed in a bucket...
-Not having towels to dry my hands bothers me
-I waited super long to use the indoor bathroom rather than going to the outhouse
-I've never heard someone lead worship with a megaphone
-I am the only person in the room with glasses
-People look at me funny, it's like they can smell it on me
-Being in a city named Marmelade made me think, "this must be the hometown of the Creole lady from the song Moulin Rouge" ala Christina Aguilera
-I get offended by odor
I want to live in a smell-less environment and I don't realize how unnatural that actually is
I would rather artificial smells from the rainforest, mediterranean and Brazil, Febreze is lying
All of those natural habitats probably smell offensive
-I am the only woman without my hair covered in church
-I didn't realize that in Haiti the dogs would understand Creole just like how in the US they understand English
In my head all dogs understand English
-Cleaning concrete/dirt floors makes no sense to me
These people are about principal
-I've never eaten a chicken I killed...
-It scares me to drive on the side of a mountain with out a railing
-I found a clever way to ice my water and people would come find me for a refreshing drink
-I am a slave to mirrors and time
Everywhere I go I need to be reminded of what I look like and I need to know how long it took me to refresh my memory
People from over seas aren't late because they don't care, they're late because they don't have watches
Time is relative to the sun and the roosters
-Half my meals consisted of peanut butter & (fill in the blank with crackers, bananas or bread) anything but what they were cooking in the kitchen
-I figured all the white people there were Christian and if they spoke Creole they were rich
-My best friend was first name Hand last name Sanitizer
-I don't know plants by theirs leaves
-I stared at the Asians in the airport because Asians are rare everywhere
-I got sick